Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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