he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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