I wish my penis had an off switch
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Congratulations! We have a period
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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