Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
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I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
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The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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