well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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