Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
