I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
