Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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