ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
God, I missed his penis.
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