I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
