May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize