I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
