watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
