my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
