is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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