ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
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So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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