a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
