I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
