That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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