you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
