North Korea, Best Korea!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
