This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
