so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
