He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
