I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
