I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The police scanner is talking about you again....
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
