i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
