The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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