We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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