you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
