u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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