I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
