thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
ok first of all what the fuck
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
