No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i came on her dog
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
