we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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