so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
