I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
