six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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