I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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