There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
