I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
