just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize