Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
