Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
