ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
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I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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