what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
