Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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