I wish my penis had an off switch
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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