Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We're too hungover to prance.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
