YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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