are you still at the devil's house?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
