I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
