Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
