we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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