and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
