I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
